I Just Godfathered My Husband, aka Adventures of Pookins the Boar Head

I'm in a vacuum.

I turned in my dissertation proposal last week and now I'm in that odd twilight-y I've-accomplished-something-major-but-still-have-a-lot-to-do-but-don't-wanna-do-any-of-it zone wherein I usually obsessively clean random things like the wall next to the couch with a kitchen sponge but fail to clean any other walls. And then I redecorate for 2-5 days depending on how soon Cpt Awesomepants tells me to quit it because he can't find anything, like seriously, where are the car keys??? And what the hell happened to the couch??!? And I eat ice cream sandwiches for lunch. And dinner.

It's a good, if frenetic, and weird, and unsettling time. And also ice cream is not the best idea for two meals a day. And just because it says 'sandwich' on the packages does not actually mean it's healthy.

K. Long lead-in, but this is not new for me.

Remember that scene in the Godfather with the horse head? It'll make sense in a minute.

I'm redecorating, day 2. I've been pulling pictures off the wall and dusting them and moving them around to new places, which explains why the number of holes in the plaster has recently skyrocketed. This is partly because I eyeball everything and do not believe in measuring first, or ever. It takes too much time. Hammering a nail in 6 different places makes far more sense to me.

I've also pulled down one of the weirder things we own which is the Balinese boar head mask, who I have very recently knighted Pookins. Pookins the Boar Head.

No I have no idea what purpose he served in Bali, I only know that Pookins has real, genuine, boar hair on his head, which has been styled as per my liking in a pseudo- Elvis bouffant. I love Elvis. I also love Pookins the boar head mask. Cpt Awesomepants thinks it's weird and terrifying and I understand, but also don't care.

Seriously, I love this thing. His mouth opens. Here he is eating an apple which I may or may not have placed in his jaw.

This is one of his glam shots done with available lighting and a flower that I had on hand. He's really into fashion.

Moving on.

You probably know where I'm going with this now.

Cpt Awesomepants has had a crap weekend and barely slept last night due to a paper he had to write, so he's NOT on his game right now. I recognize that I should not take advantage of my husband in this state but it's. just. too. tempting.

Me: all calm and nonchalant-like: "can you help me make the bed?"
Him: normal, unsuspecting: "sure."

Standard unmade bed:




Cpt Awesomepants uttered a scream that, to his credit, was very manly. And also very loud. And the dance that accompanied it was most impressive, and would surely have scared off Pookins had Pookins been a real boar. Surely.

And this is how you Godfather someone.

cheers :)

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