I'm blogging from Paris and yes, I do realize this means I have an "internet problem."

So I got all Luddite-y and decided to unplug for the duration of my vacation en France, which lasted... exactly.... one hour.

The Great France Adventure; Part 1, Day 1:

So far my keen observational insight has led me to note the following:
1. Everyone smokes here.
2. I am the most insecure American on the planet.
3. Captain Awesomepants is the 2nd most insecure American on the planet.

I know these things because:
1. Everyone is smoking.
2. I am terrified that someone (or everyone) will notice my flip-flops and jeans and badly shaped hair (it's the humidity and lack of sleep dammit) and laugh and whisper to each other in immaculate French "stupid American tourist" before jauntily readjusting their scarves and hopping on their mopeds, while blaming me for the Bush administration and Monsanto and ruining the planet with globalization and all bad food ever created ever. Oh and for freedom fries. My insecurity runs deep. 

I'm probably not correct, but OH MY GOD I MIGHT BE. Jsyk, this thought could ruin your day.

3. Captain Awesomepants has become mute, staunchly refusing to interact with anyone who is French. We are in France. This might be a problem.

Oh. And I believe I am about to spend something like 16 euro on coffee, which is, I think, approximately 900 USD.

It is very good coffee.

No comments:

Post a Comment