Thoughts About the Rapture, Part 3

Generally I find doomsday predictions to be fairly harmless and entertaining. The day after another one fails is often spent in smug self congratulation, which is always a good time for me. We are fairly apocalyptic in our thinking anyways, so what's the big deal when another nutbag-with-a-final-date comes along? Usually nothing. This last one, however, was a bit of a slap.

I can't help but want to take the mickey out of Harold Camping because his doomsday prediction was neither harmless nor remotely entertaining; many, many people funneled their life savings into his ad campaign and others actually committed suicide. I'm not going into specifics because it makes my head ouch-y, but I will say that it is as obviously un-Christian as you can get to wish doomsday upon the rest of humanity while you get a cushioned ferry ride up to heaven. Wtf, Mr. Camping? It's on, bro.

This is my tablet-induced depiction of Captain Crazypants himself:

I gave him a coloring book so he wouldn't hurt himself. 

I've been feeling very Jurassic Park recently – I don't know if that's due to wedding planning or too much homework or way, way too much rain, but there it is. 
It might be due to the fact that I made Cpt Awesomepants watch all three Jurassic Park movies in as many nights with me. 
Btw? For a bunch of guys who keep saying "oh I'll NEVER go back to that island," they seem to end up there an awful lot. 

Also, the second movie was quite possibly the worst film of all time, including Scenes From a Mall. This is saying quite a bit, as I have phenomenally terrible taste in films. Just ask anyone I've made suffer through Ernest Scared Stupid, or that last one with Sylvester Stallone when he shoots a f***ing Howitzer bullet OUT OF THE SKY. I have no shame. 

So I was thinking, maybe Camping was actually onto something and it was just lost in translation. Like 
his last prophecy (1994, when the world also ceased to end in a ball of fire). What if....

This is probably a really easy mistake to make in translating the Bible.

I'm going with 'raptor'. It makes so much more sense.


If Camping had just said that the RAPTOR was coming, I think everyone would have taken him a lot more seriously. NOBODY wants to get up to make coffee in the morning and have a ginormo gajillion year old dead/resurrected velociraptor in their kitchen, that is a terrible idea. Whatever Camping was suggesting people do to prepare for the end/dino invasion, we would have done it. Lots of it.  

But he didn't, and the shitstorm that ensued was *entirely* of his making. This is why I have drawn a picture of him being eaten by a velociraptor. 

This, Mr. Camping, is Cartoon Justice. 

No more predictions, okay? Unless there really *are* dinosaurs coming. thx. 



  1. i believe harold c. had a serious stroke today. your powers are eerie.

  2. lol. funny stuff. hello from an old SCAD friend. congrats on the wedding by the way!